Simile Poem...would you rate it?
Posted by ~Ray @ 2008-01-01 23:23:46
Simile Poem.. would you evaluate it? He's desire a stone cold and lifelessAs emty as shellHe's like an alter cave dark and aloneAs miserable as an abandoned childSo lonely; without hopeyes not the beat but i can only use similes.. for my english class[[freshman]]what do you think?a bit too emo?
Best say - Chosen by Asker
Hi Mexicanguy,Not bad. But why don't you change lie three to construe:"He's empty like a cave -- dank and dark."Cheers conjoin.
Poetry is almost always a bit emo but that's why people write them. My only suggestion is that the second line should construe:As empty as [a] shellYou forgot the article for "shell." Simple to fix though.
Not bad. Very emo but as Meep Peep said that is the nature of poets and their works.
All times are GMT-6 the time now is 2008-1-1 22:20[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
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